¹According the passage, there no should be mandatory retirement age. ²The author say that this practice takes valuable worker from the work force. ³Older worker has the most experience and making them to retire wastes theirs talent. ⁴Further more, the author tells that studies show that older worker can to do most jobs as well younger worker. ⁵I know this is true because my uncle was manager of a railroad station, but he have to retire at age of 65 because of the company policy. ⁶The lecture, however, say that if older worker stay on job, then no possible for young worker to get promotion or more responsible. ⁷Also say that, despite there are exceptions, many young workers have qualities that employer need, such as concentration, memmory, and energize.

Kalimat 1: According the passage, there no should be mandatory retirement age.

Masalah:

According the passage seharusnya According to the passage (konstruksi idiomatik)

there no should be mandatory retirement age seharusnya there should not be a mandatory retirement age (tatanan kata terbalik dan diperlukan artikel)

Kalimat 2: The author say that this practice takes valuable worker from the work force.

Masalah:

The author say seharusnya The author says . . . (verbanya tidak berkesesuian dengan subyek)

Kalimat 3: Older worker has the most experience and making them to retire wastes theirs talent.

Masalah:

theirs talent seharusnya  their talent. (posesif tanpa ‘s’)

Kalimat 4: Further more, the author tells that studies show that older worker can to do most jobs as well younger worker.

Masalah:

Further more seharusnya Furthermore (cara penulisan kata)

worker can to do seharusnya worker can do (berlebihan kata)

as well younger worker seharusnya  as well as younger worker. (as well as berarti ALSO)

Kalimat 5: I know this is true because my uncle was manager of a railroad station, but he have to retire at age of 65 because of the company policy.

Masalah:

my uncle was manager of a railroad station seharusnya my uncle is a manager of a railroad station (diperlukan bentuk present)

but he have to retire seharusnya but he has to retire (antara subyek dan verba tak berkesesuaian)

Kalimat 6: The lecture, however, say that if older worker stay on job, then no possible for young worker to get promotion or more responsible.

Masalah:

The lecture, however, say seharusnya The lecture, however, says (antara subyek dan verba tak berkesesuaian)

if older worker stay on job seharusnya if older worker stays on job (antara subyek dan verba tak berkesesuaian)

then no possible seharusnya then no possibility (salah pilihan kata)

more responsible seharusnya more responsibility (salah pilihan kata)

Kalimat 7: Also say that, despite there are exceptions, many young workers have qualities that employer need, such as concentration, memmory, and energize

Masalah:

Also say that seharusnya Also said that (diperlukan bentuk pasif)

employer need seharusnya employer needs (antara subyek dan verba tak berkesesuaian)

memmory seharusnya memory (salah bentuk kata- noun parallelism)

energize seharusnya energy (diperlukan bentuk nomina-noun parallelism)

Paragraf Bahasa Inggris 1